DEREGULATION – DON’T GET ME STARTED!

I dunno if I am whistling in the damn wind, getting too old, barking up the wrong tree or just taking life too seriously but I am seeing something insidious wherever I go.

I used that word ‘insidious’ of a workmate in jest, not long ago. I use words like that occasionally. Words you have to spellcheck. Well, she didn’t know what it meant and hey insidious, that is a hard word to describe, especially when you are trying to make a funny gibe at someone. I’m still not sure she got the humour intended even after I had explained it’s meaning. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea? Maybe I didn’t explain the word too well? Anyway, she doesn’t talk to me as much as before now but well it was just a joke and yes, it sure is still a good word!

There are some words and expressions that say it for me and you can’t tell it any another way. It’s like a joke you have to explain can never really be funny, a cartoon that leaves you confused, just didn’t do it for you or whoever loved a picture they were told was good?

As the guy in the cinema queue in Annie Hall the movie says – ‘Its gotta hit me on a gut level’ or I personally don’t appreciate it and then again, like Woody Allen’s character Alvy Singer, rejoins in the same scene – ‘Boy, what I could do with a sock full of manure right now.’ This, because the guy in the queue keeps on speaking his dogma and personal opinions loudly within Alvy’s hearing.

‘Some things are better felt than telt’ is a saying.

I love sayings, colloquialisms, (boy only one letter out on my spellcheck on that one!) and I love learning new colloquial expressions too because even though I can only barely speak English, (Scottish and Irish) plus a little Glaswegian and maybe a few other rare and special British dialects (clue: there is a joke or three in there .. and if you didn’t see it # it doesn’t really work does it ?!).

I really do love language … Language is communication! .. Language is dynamite!

Two weeks in a Virginia jail
For my lover, for my lover
Twenty thousand dollar bail
For my lover, for my lover

And everybody thinks
That I’m the fool
But they don’t get
Any love from you

The things we won’t do for love
I’d climb a mountain if I had to
Risk my life so I could have you
You, you, you…

Everyday I’m psychoanalyzed
For my lover, for my lover
They dope me up and I tell them lies
For my lover, for my lover

And everybody thinks
That I’m the fool
But they don’t get
Any love from you

The things we won’t do for love
I’d climb a mountain if I had to
Risk my life so I could have you
You, you, you…

I follow my heart
And leave my head to ponder
Deep in this love
No man can shake
I follow my heart
And leave my mind to wonder
Is this love worth
The sacrifices I make?

Two weeks in a Virginia jail
For my lover, for my lover
Twenty thousand dollar bail
For my lover, for my lover

Everyday I’m psychoanalyzed
For my lover, for my lover
They dope me up and I tell them lies
For my lover, for my lover

And everybody thinks
That I’m the fool
But they don’t get
Any love from you

The things we won’t do for love
I’d climb a mountain if I had to
Risk my life so I could have you
You, you, you..

Lyrics to the song ‘For My Lover’ by Tracy Chapman

.

There are other things you shouldn’t touch but do not mess with language! … or take words out … or re-write words … Are you listening America? – Yes you can add words and maybe some words might be simplified but only if there is a very good and valid reason.

‘Just because you can doesn’t mean you oughta …’

Well this insidious deregulation is affecting everything now. Even the sacred cow is suddenly fair game, even though she has always lived out on the street in open view. Who knew that eventually visitors to countries where there is a custom, might challenge her right to be there, even if that particular sacred cow is a country’s flag on a pole, a long-standing, local and ethnic practice, habitude or the chosen national religion. It doesn’t matter that some care less for their own customs than they should. Even true ‘sacred cows’ wander the streets of India uncared for, unloved, to feed on local refuse which you might say is not what a sacred cow should have to do.

I think maybe respect is what we are alluding to here although even that particular word might need some re-definement from the deregulators curse. Respect does not mean a feigned honour just because it is old but an appropriation, an appreciation and a recognition of a things true merits, based not only on its current status but also its particular historical relevance and I may add ‘reverence’ at the risk of any implied alliteration. Now that is a whole bunch of look-up words for some people to consider and I do not mean to sound patronising.

I see that hand at the back and yes, I knew someone would make that comment. What happened to the ‘it’s got to hit me on a gut level’ point and ‘I thought you were against people telling us what is good’ and therefore worthy of our respect…. No, what I am saying is this – We do not have to enjoy something ourselves to recognise its value or its place in history. This is, after all, why we have National Exhibitions, Art Galleries, Opera Houses and National Theatres, to preserve and honour our National identity, history and culture.

The deregulation I object to, that insidious thing this piece came in on, is the one that is affecting not only a few abbreviated words and Americanisms that may have crept in on the back of our Microsoft and Apple Software ~ Why does my spellchecker continue to give me a dotted line under words like honour?! ~  No, this insidious thing is moving into the realm of our popular culture and affecting things that aren’t 50, 40, 30 or even 20 years old. These things have it seems, not even earned a mundane ‘O well it is pretty old’ kind of respect. They are bull calves, game for slaughter, processing, recycling, even vivisection of the vulgarest order

If it’s not brok’ why fix it?

Why do advertisers process ‘favourite tunes’ for their advertisements and re-record classic pop tunes with bland vocals and homogenised, even soulless soundtracks? Why do they even take just the melodies from memorable chart songs and make different versions, that are vaguely recognisable for background themes. Why do tv programme planners take classic or historic novels, even recent successful drama series  and fit them into modern sub-plots with current speech and up-dated  story lines. Is nothing sacred.

Don’t re-write what I have written

While screenwriters, film directors and writers have fun ‘deregulating’ the greatest of movies and stories by changing characters, situations, emphasis and basic story-lines to suit a new generation I sit back and wail, thinking that one day people will be denied a history of anything.