THE ANDY CAPP BEATITUDES

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Blessed are those born north of Watford, for theirs is the kingdom of ‘the north’.

Blessed are those with a relevant, regional accent for they shall get jobs in the media.

Blessed are those whose fathers – bought the ‘Daily Mirror’ for they shall be called ‘the working class’.

Blessed are those who can say fook’ or fookin’ at least 30 times a day for they shall be the salt of the earth.

Blessed are those who don’t need to say I love you, because ‘I married you didn’t I’?

Blessed are those who have fish and chips on a Friday and call Coronation Street, Corrie!

Blessed are those who think Art is something you did at school but still have no idea why.

Blessed are those who have only been on the dole once, for they shall see God.

Blessed are those who feel offended by rich, southern bastards but still watch Eastenders.

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CompiledbyedenbrayApril2018

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‘I told you I only understand satire because I watched ‘That Was The Week That Was’, Millicent.