GUILT ~ WHATS THAT ALL ABOUT ?!?


GUILT NEVER WEARS A HAPPY FACE

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People today get pretty paranoid about a number of relatively illogical things, depending on your point of view or your particular peccadillo. From the dangers of passive smoking through asbestos poisoning and wells disease to the many and varied phobias including the usual and familiar, like claustrophobia and aracnaphobia and on to those even more extreme than brontophobia (fear of thunderstorms) or mysophobia (fear of germs).

However damaging the subject of these rattlesnake fears may be to their victims, none of them can ever be as controlling or debillitating than the inner curse that is the nub of that mischevious little 5-letter symptomia known as guilt (Cue – flashing thunder and scary music please) … Fundamentalist Christians, Catholic priests, no doubt other World Religions Teachers, Psychologists and Phsycoanalysts would give you differing, although possibly predictable but non the less worthy responses to the age old question,  what is guilt?

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Edenbray is not here today to either reiterate, confirm or critiscize these many well documented beliefs or respected, proven and accepted diagnosis. No, today I just want to take a cool, long and hard look in the eye of the little blighter. This annoying, secretive parasite of the human psyche that can grow to such an unhealthy scale that, apparently, it can help create mass murderers, serial killers and phsycoanalitic nightmares of the strangest order yet for the most of us (hastily he separates himself from the earlier list) has at least been the cause of not a few arguments, both inner and vocalised, emotional pain and angst and contributed to not a few very stupid actions and reactions. Am I the only one? 

Deny guilt has a say in your life to your peril my friend, for this devious little ‘shit’ will gnaw out your very soul right in the fleshy centre of that denial and at very least may ruin many a good afternoon stroll or a healthy game of scrabble. No, we are not all psychopathic monsters riddled with parent-induced or strict religious guilt but we do, all on some scale or other fall prey to that little demon known as ‘guilt’.

Random note :~ the word guilt rhymes with ‘quilt’ and this seems fitting as squares of guilt add together and eventually grow into hideous proportions in much the same way as a patchwork quilt??

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It has to be remembered that bed linen may not actually disguise guilt but it could be seen to cover acts of unfaithfulness that might well ultimately lead to just one variety of guilt. So in my search to determine what guilt actually looks like I have decided to organise an identikit operation that hopefully might lead to an eventual IDENTITY PARADE. We can then stitch these patchwork cameo’s of ‘guilt’ together and then ultimately learn to recognise the traits of the insidious demon ‘guilt’.

Guilt never has a happy face

We may process what we know about guilt more by what we know it does not look like than what it does. For example true guilt never has a happy face, nor is it particularly attractive. It may smile but then it turns out more of a sneer. It can never really be beachball joyful.

When we have singled guilt out, isolated it, named it and shamed it we may begin to ask – How did we ever fall prey to its devious schemes and wiles? How did we let this little monster bully us, invade us, worry us, negatively influence us and ultimately dominate us.

Paragons of un-virtue will interlude they have no truck with the pious, self-righteous, shameless and shaming roadster. ‘I feel no guilt’ is the monogram on many a playboys shorts, embezzlers wallet, dodgy tradesmen’s van, shyster, con-artist or a bawdy tarts bra and knickers. If she wears any. To these and all those who manage to control their inner voices like Al Capone carrying a baseball bat, guilt is indeed an Alien and should I ever meet such an one, he’ll get short shrift from my maple sledgehammer for I’m certainly not one of those who might entertain the notion of change, open-mindedness nor someone or some thing influencing either my life or my actions.

So this piece is clearly aimed at those who do believe in visitors from out of space or at least have already met the slimy little monster with a head full of teeth whose name begins with a gee and ends with a tee.

Yes, guilt my friend affects us all I would propose at some time and while guilt is not beautiful, alluring, pretty, handsome or desirable it is not necessarily ugly either, in the same way as a malignant cancer’s physical appearance to the naked eye can be mute and non alarming.

The problem with guilt is that it nags like a puss-filled boil, an insect bite, a domineering wife, husband or partner. It chaffs and ‘worries’ us like a hungry baby, a pain in the groin or an unpaid bill. Until we meet its demands it hangs over us like a blackmailer holding the darkest of secrets. It sends messages with devious cunning that we uncover in the unlikeliest moments. It can make us act very strange and if we bury it deep it leaves molehills on the surface of our landscaped lives to prove to us it has escaped and is roaming ‘out there’, dangerous, naked and free.

Guilt is no respecter of a persons age, background or social standing and people caught in its spidery web resort to the strangest, wildest, most diabolic recourse to remove its incessant taunts. You might say its vengeance is extreme.

Guilt does not let you be your ‘real’ self

Guilt hides away in the crevices of the human heart and folds of the human brain and teaches us to do likewise. It is a skeleton in the closet, a ghost in the dark, a rat in the attic – appearing at moments when you think it maybe has gone for good. Guilt is your secret even though you hide it so well. Or think you do. You’re better off without it but how do you ‘out’ it and how do you get the alien ‘out of the house’? How do you set that particular demon free? It’s a dilemma and one that keeps a whole lotta’ people in work.

Psychoanalysts, counsellors, doctors, priests …. So how do we loose the fettered monster? Choose your poison? Maybe we should all be a bit more honest about the things that make us feel guilty. Drag them screaming out into the light of day and expose them for what they are. Make coffee-time with your friends – your personal confessional. Come on, get it off your chest you know you want to and you might be surprised where it will lead. Maybe people will find you a lot more interesting. It might turn out a real turn-on for them or maybe they will recognise you are human after all and a lot more like themselves than they had realised. Open the cage, step out into the light.

Right then whose first?

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writtenbyedenbraybetween29.04.2013and02.02.2015

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About edenbray

I've always enjoyed writing and thats all I want to do... .. . I’m not sure why I stopped writing was it 9/11? .. . Eden Bray is born ugly, wet and covered in blood, mucous and bodily functions. The effluence of my short life .. . I'm a Writer and Artist since 1966, now a Blogger ~ I write lots of poems, written essays, articles, reviews, opinion + comment .. . please join the shebang but more importantly please leave me a marker with a comment for my ego and my encouragement :- thanks, edenbray
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